I'm back and a lot has been going on!!!

I have a ton of new stuff to add and I will as soon as this computer works!!!! I hope in the next few mins.

I had a dream

I had the most wonderful dream the other night... But I must warn it was a little scary too...

It started out as a very dark night in a village like something you would see in the moving "Memoirs of Geshia" and I was running and crying and feeling very upset and alone. I than ran into a couple that I knew from Santa Barbara and went inside their little house and spoke to them for a little bit just telling them that I am so sad and I need to find my sister. They looked at me and didn't really say anything it was kind of odd. I was thinking to myself why am I here talking to them they are not really my friends and they can't understand what I am going through. I then left their place and started running down the street in the dark with this really sad emotion that just took over my whole body. I then ran in to another little house and I found Ja-Rule in the bath tub with a cigar talking to me telling me to let it go and to suck it up. I guess I was crying because I was so confused and I think I was being chased by a mob of people. He then told me that I have to look into myself and face it. There was another person in the room that was drying me off and this is were it gets a little wired. When the person was drying me off I noticed I was naked and I didn't care. I was like look this is all of me just me. I was bleeding and I showed the person that was drying me off and that person made me take a cotton ball and place a little bit of blood on it and show it to the people outside. I then proceeded to get dressed and once I was done with that I left. When I went outside again it was still really dark and I looked into my past growing up and what my life was like and it was really weird and crazy. Then all of sudden when I got to the heart of my memories I ran and jumped through the darkness like football players jump through those papers at a game and on the other side I was in Santa Barbara at a park called Kids World but before it was Kids world it was just a park with like telephone polls that you could climb on and my sister and I would always play there when we were very young. But anyways once I got through the darkness and realized I was at this park it was bright and sunny and green and I looked up and saw my sister counting by one of the big tall palm trees when she was 6 and I was 4. I started running towards her calling her name and she looked at me and when I was running I knew this was a dream and I didn't care I just made sure that I made myself run as fast as I could to her before I woke up. Well when I got to her she looked up at me and I gave her the biggest hug I could and when I looked to my right I could see myself at 4 looking at her just wondering when she was going to come and try to tag me. That's when I woke up. I must say this is one the best dreams I have had since she has been gone because I was able to dig deep into my mind and remember us as children small little girls and best friends with no fear or worries. I just wanted to share and see what you may think this may mean... Thanks for reading and Happy holidays to all.... There is a lot more detail to my dream however I don't know how to put it into words. I can see it in my mind and I hope this dream stays with me forever...

To my sister whom is forever in heaven and in my heart..

Day by day I get by..... and how I haven't lost myself is beyond me....

Going Blonde...

Well I am dog sitting for this week for my boss and his wife since they are out of town. I thought hey this will be great since I want a dog like their's a nice little one. I then realized about two days into it that there is no way I am getting a dog. They just need too much attention and time and love and I've realized I have no time or love to spear right now. On Wed night I decided to change my look. So what do you do when your bored go for the one color you've always wanted and hope for the best. I started adding the dye to my hair and mins into it you could already see a difference. I was so excited and couldn't wait for the out come. Finally the 30mins were up and I was able to rinse the stuff out of my hair and I loved what was done. I really feel like a new person I really want to take the idea of my friend Antwnettie aka Toby and change my name for a bit. If you have any ideas please let me know. I've been working out for the last 3weeks and I am really close to my goal of being on the ellipitcal for an hour. Yesterday I worked out with my plastic running suit for 50mins and burned 488cals... I was so happy until I got on the scale and I weighed more then I had thought. Don't worry I didn't go and eat my heart out because I was mad I just decided to work harder the next day. Let me tell you friends if I don't lose the weight and fat that I am looking to lose by December then I am going to get lipo...It's just $995 an area....I can afford that and no it's not the doctor that make house calls with it kitchen silverware and a kenmore vaccum cleaner...LOL LOL...I've been having crazy dreams lately and the last one that I had my mom and steve died and my sister was driving us around in her black car telling me it will all be ok don't worry. It's weird to have a dream were my mom was gone but not Steve because that night I was mad at him and asked my sister for help to resolve the issue but I don't think killing would of helped..LOL...Oh yeah when my mom died we went through her stuff and found tons of money in her pockets and her wallet and we just kept pulling out 100's, 20's, and 1's and when I woke up and got dressed I looked in my pocket and found money that I didn't know I had...That was really cool....I need more dreams like that were I dream of money and I find it when I wake up. Oh yeah I have some new pics that I will be posting of my sister next month that my computer guy is going to get for me off of my old hard drive of a computer that no longer works. I can't wait to see what's on there...I hope the naked pictures to surface...Just kidding the naked pictures were taken with the old school poloraid camara you know when the pic comes out right after the pic is taken....LOL LoL..

New pics of me and my family

Step-Sister Samara,Dad,Me,Brother-in-Law Pablo,My son Roscoe,My sister's daughter Emily, and my mom Sherie. Man oh Man my mommy is white..LOL LOL Mom don't be mad you know I love you....

My sweet boy Roscoe...
Grandpa and Roscoe it's amazing how much they look alike..
My two little angels from heaven..My sister would of been so happy to see this one. I know she was watching when we took these pictures and I can see the wonderful smile on her face...
Roscoe and his auntie S...
Me,Pablo,Roscoe, and baby Emily....Family forever who would of thought we would all be so close..
Did someone say "Superstar"....

I hope all of you guys like the pictures and you all can see why I need to lose some weight..Look I have a supersized neck...LOL...I am so happy that we were able to get some pictures of Emily smiling since she didn't want to be there that day...

Later Skaters.....

A poem for my sister...

In Loving Memory of Maleka M. Brinley-Higgins Pineda

Loss Of A Sibling

To lose a sibling is to lose oneself, For a part of me is gone, And now I'm left to reminisce As I try to carry on. The thought of you not being here Has torn my world apart, Yet everyday I feel you near; a blessing to my heart. Your memory comforts me today In ways I wish you knew, But tears are falling from the pain That comes from losing you. I see your face in the morning sun And in the moon at night, I wonder how you're feeling now, I pray that you're alright. And one day when my time has come To soar with eagles wings... We'll be joined forever more To laugh, to live, to sing.

Always in our hearts....

My sister and our memories

Oh look Auntie M helping her favorite nephew open his gifts from grandma....Man oh man I think Auntie is having more fun then Roscoe...








Did someone say splish splash i'm taking a bath...I think they did..

Oh yeah I am now a blogger....

Thank you to my wonderful friend in Japan I have started my own blog page... I am going to post a lot about my sister since it's only been 8months now since she was murdered.Of course I will post other things as well but at first I must start with my sister. You will see a lot of crazy blogs as I work through all of the pain and all the day to day crap but I promise to keep it interesting plus what else are blogs for....

Later gators....